Colon Cancer Alliance

Candace

My name is Candace Henley; I am a 41 yr old mother of 5 Daughters
Stage IIB Colon Cancer
Diagnosed: June 27, 2003

I often tell people that I feel like my life has been hit by a hurricane that went undetected. When it was all over, I was left with devastation that hit all corners of my life: physically, emotionally, financially, and psychologically.

It took six months for my diagnosis. I began having bowel problems in December of 2002 while celebrating with family for an upcoming wedding. My stomach was in knots and cramping, and I realized that I had not had a sufficient bowel movement in almost two weeks. I had to be taken to the emergency room. There I received a small cup of "human draino" that opened the flood gates of my bowel system. The sad part about my emergency room visit is that no one thought to check me out to see why I was having such problems with my bowels. I was so happy the hospital had a product that helped me move my bowels that I almost kissed the nurse in gratitude.

In late January 2003, I was experiencing light headedness, unexplainable fatigue, and seeing spots. I passed out at work and was admitted into the hospital because I had a blood count of 6.4 and had to receive a blood transfusion. I had a history of female problems which consisted of an over active uterus and right ovary. I had two surgeries to remove each of those and it was presumed that the problem was resolved.

June came around and I made another trip to the emergency room, this time because of a bad case of acid reflux (which has nothing to do with colon cancer). Finally, I was asked about my health history for the past year and submitted to a blood test; the resident came back with the attending physician and said that my blood count this time was 5.2. It was a blessing that I came to the hospital when I did, and I had to have another blood transfusion. It was then suggested that I have a colon-rectal exam. I was given a Fecal Occult Blood Test (FOBT) to determine if blood was in my stool, and the test was positive.

Once the doctor confirmed that it was colon cancer, I had no idea how much my life was going to change. I lost all thought pattern, and I didn't know how to process the information I had just been given. I wanted to ask questions, but I did not. She went on to offer me a therapist I could talk to, but what would I talk about? What could I say when I had no brain waves? I found myself so numb that I didn't even have any tears. I remember her saying "Wow, you took that very well," and then told me I was scheduled for surgery in the morning.

I was diagnosed with Stage IIB colon cancer. Stage IIB is Cancer that has spread beyond the colon wall into nearby organs and/or through the peritoneum.

I had my large intestine removed and a resection to the small intestine. This would prove to be a challenge later on. Reality began to catch up with me when I got home. I was not able to care for myself, but had to rely on family and friends to take care of me. The woman that had held down a stressful blue collar job as a bus driver, a mother of 5 daughters, the sister, the daughter, the niece, the best friend, the superwoman as I was referred to every now and again, was now taken down by cancer -- what a blow!

I was now at the my own mercy and I had no clue on how to begin to heal. I did not know anyone who had colon cancer, or cancer for that matter, that was alive to tell about it. I tried to talk about it to family and friends, but as much as they had sympathy for my experience, they were clueless as to how to help me feel better. I was no help either. I pretended as if I was dealing with everything just fine. I would put on the fake smile when people would see me to help ease their shock because I had gone from a healthy 189 lb, 5'11" frame to 149 lbs within 9 days after my surgery. I was very scary to look at, but everyone put on a brave face for my sake.

Then the other problems started to kick in. My job disability paid only $184.71 a week and I had a mortgage payment of $927, utility bills, not to mention the needs of the children. I used the money from my deferred compensation plan, but it was not enough. I called agency after agency with very few results if any at all. All the stresses weighing on me finally caught up. Depression began to take over.

I was suicidal and spent five days in the hospital on twenty four hour watch. I counseled while in the hospital. I hid my emotions and tried to regain my image as "Wonder Woman." I finally started talking about it, learning to let out my feelings without being apologetic to everyone about what I was going through. In the end, I lost my house, but I had my life.
Colon Cancer Alliance is an important organization for people like me. I became a part of it, because I believe in the concept of alleviating the suffering caused by colon cancer on all fronts.

My family and I suffered. I have been picking up the pieces of my life every day. I tell people I am not a survivor, but I am surviving cancer; every day is a new challenge. There is a need for everyone to know of a place to call and receive help when they need it, be it financial otherwise. People need someone to connect with who will understand when you say "I am not myself anymore; I hurt almost every day." Do you know how embarrassing it is not to have control of your bowels anymore? Who would understand that? Have you ever been there? We need your help. Creating awareness and expressing the importance of early detection is the key.

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